Fake it Fake it Fake it til you Make it Make it Make it!
When I was a teenager I had an extremely brief pageant career. I thought there was nothing more glamorous than wearing a sash and having a crown pinned on my head. I still daydream that I am on a glittery float doing the elbow,elbow, wrist wrist wrist wave.
I was a contestant in the Miss Seminole pageant, a Miss America prelim. I had the amazing fortune of being assigned a sponsor that had twin daughters in the national pageant scene. I was given my choice of their pageant wardrobes to wear for my competition. Awww Yeah. We were all given extensive lady training, which I still use today. We learned:
- How to walk gracefully in 5 inch heels
- The magic of getting your shoes dyed your skin color
- How to live on cottage cheese, rice cakes, and carrots for a month
- How to wear 2 pairs of control top pantyhose and a pre-Spanx era control slip and SMILE at the same time. All that squeezing made your lips curl up involuntarily so it wasn’t so hard.
- How to speak intelligently in front of a crowd while being squeezed from the bottom up like a tube of toothpaste.
- How to do my hair to appear 5 inches taller and 10 lbs thinner.
- What to spray on your butt cheeks so your swimsuit doesn’t ride up. It works on strapless gowns as well.
I didn’t even come close to winning, although when the experience was over I felt like I had become a real grown-up woman. I was 17. What did I know about being Miss America? The advice I was given was to just fake it. So I that’s what I did. Until I tried on the gown. I knew I didn’t have to fake it any more because I could own the shit out of that stage when I walked in that gown. When I want to feel that way I visualize myself in that gown. Only now, because it is my fantasy, I am gracefully squatting to receive that crown.
Sometimes my clients have confidence problems and are unable to see the beauty in their bodies that I see. I’ll happily prance into the fitting room bearing the prize that I think perfectly expresses their Wardrobe Language and all I get is deer in headlights. “Uh uh”. “That’s not really my style”. “I’m too _(insert bs here_)_____ to wear that”. My solution for this? Practice! If you want to look like Miss America, you have got to wear that bitch’s dress. If you want to look like you own a company you’ve got to suit up.
I once made a client wear skinny jeans for our entire 2 hour fitting. She had been stuck in awful pre-pregnancy jeans (her first kid was 4) and baggy sweatshirts. Over the course of the next 2 hours she gradually came to see that her body was Perfectly Imperfect and the jeans showed her tushy in a way that her husband really liked. We also traded in her hideous granola shoes for a sleek knee high flat boot so she could still run around. Because I made her (with love) practice in those jeans she left the store with more confidence than when she entered. She also started to see her body in a different way—rockin her curves instead of hiding them.
Science Nerd Alert:
A recent body language study showed that standing or sitting in a closed or non-confident posture for 2 minutes can decrease your testosterone, decreasing your feelings of power and confidence. Conversely, an open posture (think Wonder Woman or Rocky) can increase your testosterone, thereby increasing your feeling of power and confidence. Awesome, right? This says to me that we have control over how we feel. All we have to do is PRACTICE!
You can extend this to your Wardrobe Language. After all, your what you are wearing is the first and biggest visual cue you are sharing. If you want to wear something but aren’t confident try practicing. Put it on, walk around in it, pretend you are the kind of person that would wear it. Visualize the kind of life you have when you are wearing it. Stand like Wonder Woman in it. Give yourself at least a half hour. Then leave a comment below or head over to our Facebook Page and let me know what happens!
Do you want to stop wasting your time and money on clothes that don’t work for you? Could you use some style guidance or a closet co-pilot? Are you ready to use your Wardrobe Language to tell the world about your amazing self? Click here to contact me and schedule a free 20 minute phoner!